The Opera of Souls (Or, The Return of Hezekiah Jim)

In the world famous "Opera of Souls", evil womanizers climb through the roof and try to steal the poor people's umbrellas and happiness. Fortunately, Hezekiah Jim returned, this time as a Jewish Poolboy, and he is plotting to knock the womanizers off the trapeze with a grenade hidden inside a cheeseburger dangling from the rafters to save the day. To Hezekiah's everlasting suprise, Matt Damon was also in the rafters, trying desperately to make a comeback as a rooftop bellower. "I do believe your shirt is missing" said Matt Damon in his Bourne voice. This made Hezekiah squeemish because he really liked Ocean's Twelve, so he took a bite of his burger and squelched "IMA POOL BOY!" This set off the grenade that was located inside the greasy grizzle, blowing all surrounding souls, womanizers and baristas alike, to bitty bits.